Sunday, December 23, 2012
Christmas Eve-eve
I've been oh so tired lately. The last four nights I've gotten to bed no early then 3:30am. I've been living off of a couple hours of sleep a day. Brody hasn't been falling asleep until 3am but last night he went to bed at 10-11ish! It was amazing, maybe he will be going back to his normal sleep schedule... Maybe. Beyla started to smile at us while awake at 1 week and a half. She is just so smiley, I love it. Brody has been better when she cries and seems to be getting use to her. Hopefully I will be able to go to bed at a decent hour tonight! I will try and post some pictures soon.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
December 18th 2012
I am going to try and blog daily to keep a journal of everyday things. It is a lot easier for me to keep a journal through my blog then to actually write it out in a journal right now.
This time around with a newborn has been a bit more difficult, not taking care of newborn but having to take care of two little ones at the same time. It is hard to deal with Brody, he doesn't like to listen and I don't know how to get him to. It is also really hard because anytime the baby cries or if Brody is sensitive enough any type of noise from her, he freaks out and throws a HUGE tantrum.. crying and banging his head on the ground or if he is in his high chair bashing his head back and forth. It is really hard to handle, he needs to get used to her making noise but we don't know how to go about fixing this. I am waiting to hear back from his speech therapist to get him back into to seeing her that way she can hopefully help us to communicate better with him. I love my Brody but he can be very difficult!
I have definitely felt the baby blues this time around, with Brody I didn't feel any of this so it is very new for me. At night it is especially difficult for me and I think it has something to do with Raul working night shift. I miss him SOOOO much at night and some nights feel exhausted and over whelmed with everything I need to do. I cry some nights and don't have the patience for Brody. I feel so horrible and like such a bad mom to him, I have yelled at him so much during those nights and I rarely have gotten that upset with him. After I yell I feel so horrible and like such a bad mother. I hope he doesn't feel like I am abandoning him because I can't be there for him every second of the day like I use to be. It seems though that the baby blues are going away, I have felt much better the last few nights and have been able to get so much more done. I really love being a mother and love my husband and my children. I am so happy to have my family and to be able to raise these little ones.
This time around with a newborn has been a bit more difficult, not taking care of newborn but having to take care of two little ones at the same time. It is hard to deal with Brody, he doesn't like to listen and I don't know how to get him to. It is also really hard because anytime the baby cries or if Brody is sensitive enough any type of noise from her, he freaks out and throws a HUGE tantrum.. crying and banging his head on the ground or if he is in his high chair bashing his head back and forth. It is really hard to handle, he needs to get used to her making noise but we don't know how to go about fixing this. I am waiting to hear back from his speech therapist to get him back into to seeing her that way she can hopefully help us to communicate better with him. I love my Brody but he can be very difficult!
I have definitely felt the baby blues this time around, with Brody I didn't feel any of this so it is very new for me. At night it is especially difficult for me and I think it has something to do with Raul working night shift. I miss him SOOOO much at night and some nights feel exhausted and over whelmed with everything I need to do. I cry some nights and don't have the patience for Brody. I feel so horrible and like such a bad mom to him, I have yelled at him so much during those nights and I rarely have gotten that upset with him. After I yell I feel so horrible and like such a bad mother. I hope he doesn't feel like I am abandoning him because I can't be there for him every second of the day like I use to be. It seems though that the baby blues are going away, I have felt much better the last few nights and have been able to get so much more done. I really love being a mother and love my husband and my children. I am so happy to have my family and to be able to raise these little ones.
Beyla Kara
Beyla Kara was born November 30th at 5:03 am. She weighed 7lbs 2oz and 19inches, just like her big brother Brody! She was a little less then three weeks early.
The birth story:
I started having contractions at 1:40am on November 30th. After about 30 minutes of contractions that were pretty painful, a couple minutes apart and 30-60seconds long Raul called my mom and told her to start heading over here. He got really nervous and said that we should go in because with Brody labor wasn't long. I told him that I wasn't ready to go to the hospital because I didn't want labor to stop and for them to send me home. He called my mom and told her how far apart and how long the contractions were and they agreed that we should go to the hospital. When we got there my mom and sister were already there. Brody came as well and my sister and sister in law watched him in the waiting room. When I got in the room and they checked me I was at a 5cm and 70% effaced. They hooked me up to the monitors for a bit and then I walked around the hospital for awhile. They checked me again and I hadn't progressed but my contractions were very strong and very close together so they called my midwife and she said she would be there in a bit to break my water(at my appointment with her the day before she had checked me and said that my water was bugling and that it might make it hard for me to progress unless she broke it). The nurse then decided to put an IV in the side of my wrist, which hurt like the dickens. Like seriously hurt and was all red around it. My midwife got there shortly after that and I told her how much it hurt and she was so mad at the nurses for even put an IV in because I didn't need it. So they took it out! After that she breaks my water, which is the most disgusting feeling... like you are peeing yourself but worse because you don't actually have to pee and it is a ton of water. After my water is broken then comes the stronger contractions, the bag of water was keeping some of the pain at bay because it is a cushion of sorts for the babies head. I am a quiet birther, when I have a contraction I close my eyes, breath, maybe cry(silently) and move my feet back and forth. The pain started to get a lot strong and I felt like I had to push so they came and checked me and said that I was only at a 8. That was such a blow to me, I didn't know how I was going to continue with the pain and not cave in to get the epidural. I think that actually really brought me to the edge and not able to handle the very very painful contractions. I kept looking and my poor husband and telling him that it hurt so bad and I can't do it anymore. I also told my mom the same thing hoping that someone would tell me that it was okay for me to get an epidural but no one would tell me what to do, they wanted me to decide on my own. I feel bad now for how I must have made my husband feel because there was nothing he could do but watch me be in an extreme amount of pain. Finally I looked at my midwife and told her I was done and that I needed an epidural, she told me that was fine and they called the on-call anesthesiologist. At that point I had no control over my body or the pain, I could not stand it and felt like punching every one of the nurses in the face. Seriously. It is pretty ridiculous that they ask you questions when you are in that kind of pain and expect answers! They had to put a new IV in and they poked me 3 times and dug around before they got it, then I got the IV fluids. That was hard enough and I could barely hold still enough for them to put the IV in. The anesthesiologist got there and I had to sign papers. I stood up and told my midwife that I needed to go to the bathroom but she told me I couldn't because I couldn't have a baby on the toilet. I just started crying and saying that I just want to go to the bathroom. My midwife told me that I had to be able to hold still long enough for the anesthesiologist to be able to put the needle in my back and I either needed to hold still or push the baby out. She asked me if I wanted the epidural or to push and I said no I don't want to sit still I want to push. So the poor anesthesiologist who was woken up for me left and I got back on the bed and they got everything ready for me to push. So she told me to start to push when I felt a contraction and I did and then she said that I could take a break but I couldn't because my body wanted me to keep pushing. I started pushing at 5:00am and had her at 5:03am, only 3 minutes of pushing.She asked me if I wanted to reach down and pull her the rest of the way out and I did, when I was pulling her up to my chest all the sudden there was a snap and her umbilical cord snapped in half. I hear them start shouting to get the clamp and then taking her from me, it freaked me out and I started crying because I felt like it was my fault. They told me it was okay and that they were able to clamp it before to much blood came out. I started to bleed to much so they kept pushing down on my stomach to help contract my uterus. (This happened the other times but seems to get worse each pregnancy) I could hear my midwife getting mad at the nurses (I love her so much she really does care about her patients above everyone else) and shouting at them to push on my stomach and to get pitocin so that it could help my uterus contract so that my bleeding would slow down. I guess I was bleeding a lot and she was very worried but all ended okay, I just was monitored a lot to make sure my bleeding was under control. Little Beyla is just so perfect and would scream this high pitched girly loud scream every time the nurse took her temp, it was so funny!
I love being a mom- although this time around is a lot more difficult and more to adjust to, having a newborn and a 3.5 year old but I wouldn't change anything about it. I love my two little ones so much! My husband and children are my world and make me one very happy lady.
The birth story:
I started having contractions at 1:40am on November 30th. After about 30 minutes of contractions that were pretty painful, a couple minutes apart and 30-60seconds long Raul called my mom and told her to start heading over here. He got really nervous and said that we should go in because with Brody labor wasn't long. I told him that I wasn't ready to go to the hospital because I didn't want labor to stop and for them to send me home. He called my mom and told her how far apart and how long the contractions were and they agreed that we should go to the hospital. When we got there my mom and sister were already there. Brody came as well and my sister and sister in law watched him in the waiting room. When I got in the room and they checked me I was at a 5cm and 70% effaced. They hooked me up to the monitors for a bit and then I walked around the hospital for awhile. They checked me again and I hadn't progressed but my contractions were very strong and very close together so they called my midwife and she said she would be there in a bit to break my water(at my appointment with her the day before she had checked me and said that my water was bugling and that it might make it hard for me to progress unless she broke it). The nurse then decided to put an IV in the side of my wrist, which hurt like the dickens. Like seriously hurt and was all red around it. My midwife got there shortly after that and I told her how much it hurt and she was so mad at the nurses for even put an IV in because I didn't need it. So they took it out! After that she breaks my water, which is the most disgusting feeling... like you are peeing yourself but worse because you don't actually have to pee and it is a ton of water. After my water is broken then comes the stronger contractions, the bag of water was keeping some of the pain at bay because it is a cushion of sorts for the babies head. I am a quiet birther, when I have a contraction I close my eyes, breath, maybe cry(silently) and move my feet back and forth. The pain started to get a lot strong and I felt like I had to push so they came and checked me and said that I was only at a 8. That was such a blow to me, I didn't know how I was going to continue with the pain and not cave in to get the epidural. I think that actually really brought me to the edge and not able to handle the very very painful contractions. I kept looking and my poor husband and telling him that it hurt so bad and I can't do it anymore. I also told my mom the same thing hoping that someone would tell me that it was okay for me to get an epidural but no one would tell me what to do, they wanted me to decide on my own. I feel bad now for how I must have made my husband feel because there was nothing he could do but watch me be in an extreme amount of pain. Finally I looked at my midwife and told her I was done and that I needed an epidural, she told me that was fine and they called the on-call anesthesiologist. At that point I had no control over my body or the pain, I could not stand it and felt like punching every one of the nurses in the face. Seriously. It is pretty ridiculous that they ask you questions when you are in that kind of pain and expect answers! They had to put a new IV in and they poked me 3 times and dug around before they got it, then I got the IV fluids. That was hard enough and I could barely hold still enough for them to put the IV in. The anesthesiologist got there and I had to sign papers. I stood up and told my midwife that I needed to go to the bathroom but she told me I couldn't because I couldn't have a baby on the toilet. I just started crying and saying that I just want to go to the bathroom. My midwife told me that I had to be able to hold still long enough for the anesthesiologist to be able to put the needle in my back and I either needed to hold still or push the baby out. She asked me if I wanted the epidural or to push and I said no I don't want to sit still I want to push. So the poor anesthesiologist who was woken up for me left and I got back on the bed and they got everything ready for me to push. So she told me to start to push when I felt a contraction and I did and then she said that I could take a break but I couldn't because my body wanted me to keep pushing. I started pushing at 5:00am and had her at 5:03am, only 3 minutes of pushing.She asked me if I wanted to reach down and pull her the rest of the way out and I did, when I was pulling her up to my chest all the sudden there was a snap and her umbilical cord snapped in half. I hear them start shouting to get the clamp and then taking her from me, it freaked me out and I started crying because I felt like it was my fault. They told me it was okay and that they were able to clamp it before to much blood came out. I started to bleed to much so they kept pushing down on my stomach to help contract my uterus. (This happened the other times but seems to get worse each pregnancy) I could hear my midwife getting mad at the nurses (I love her so much she really does care about her patients above everyone else) and shouting at them to push on my stomach and to get pitocin so that it could help my uterus contract so that my bleeding would slow down. I guess I was bleeding a lot and she was very worried but all ended okay, I just was monitored a lot to make sure my bleeding was under control. Little Beyla is just so perfect and would scream this high pitched girly loud scream every time the nurse took her temp, it was so funny!
I love being a mom- although this time around is a lot more difficult and more to adjust to, having a newborn and a 3.5 year old but I wouldn't change anything about it. I love my two little ones so much! My husband and children are my world and make me one very happy lady.
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